Month: August 2011

It was a break


I just checked the last time I put up a blog post…The 30 Day challenge thing.

I won’t begin this post with a cliché excuse for not putting up a blog post all the while….or maybe I should be honest and risk sounding cliché. I’ve been pretty busy and unsettled. Not like all the work was enough to unsettle me, the truth is I also took out time to reflect on what I had been putting up ever since I moved from blog spot to wordpress. I did a snap self appraisal. The outcome wasn’t impressive. I found out my material had become something unusual, like I was dancing to the tune of the blog masses. Not like I got massive traffic on my post or anything but within me I kept on feeling an artificial urge to please, ignoring my true voice.

I guess all the pressure and stress of the past couple of weeks made me snap. I stopped writing cause I wanted to reconnect with that voice once more, the one that was really me; not necessarily brilliant or well put, but 100% me. I stopped reading other people’s post as well cause I desperately didn’t want to find myself trying to write like any particular blogger.

There’s been a lot that I’ve carried last on *wears carrying last badge* and I don’t really mind. From the Terdoh blog post to my dear friend Olatoxic’s post.

Trust me guys, I don’t have any plans to put up anything like that. I’m just a regular guy who has had sex and prefers to ignore the many celebs of twitter and the occasional ensuing controversies. 

I know this post is short but I’m pretty distracted right now and I’d rather not put up some half backed post right now.

Will be back shortly.

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Day 17


Riots! Football! Chicks! Mehn!!! The world is going to hell!

BYOB was crazy as usual….what can a man do in this town???

Mcfly was tame unusually tonight….had nothing to do with me though.

Let’s just say today was too formal for me to put too much out there.

How are you peeps doing?

See ya tomorrow. Deuces (been a while I did that).

Konji Riots (Day 16)


*drumming fingers against chair’s arm rest*

So I’ve been gone for a few days right, handling some personal business. It then hit me all of a sudden that I’ve been pretty one-sided with you lot. Most of the female readers here think I’m a Misogynist and a good one for that matter. Not like I give a rat’s ass what you think but it really made me feel terrible since I heard it from one of my readers and she was one of the recent ‘P’ I was setting.

Imagine my surprise when she confronted me with this accusation when I hadn’t stuck my Mcfly into her. I just let her go, she was the one I had been planning to show the stripper pole I just got for the ladies (its portable). Oh well, I’ll just have to work on getting another special someone and trust me, if I’m showing you a stripper pole it means you’re special so quit making it seem like I’m cheapening women folk!….

Portable Stripper Pole

To more pressing issues, I’ve been watching the riots in London yeah, and the looting and the general break down of law and order (it’s some mad adrenalin rush), with all the pictures and video feeds I’ve been getting, I’ve made one keen observation, No one’s talking about breaking into sex shops.

I haven’t seen any guys packing cartons of condoms for days or chicks stacking up dildos and lubes.

Come on guys! Are all these looters that boring? Are their sex lives in such shambles. I’m sure if they did a survey of the amount of intercourse that has occurred in the past few months (under Tory rule), they’d see a sharp decline. Now all the departmental stores have to bear the brunt.

More than 70% of the rioters are neither criminals or have prior criminal offenses or citations, this same amount if further investigation is carried out will be discovered to be HORNY, yes I said it.

Foot Locker?!? Really? No Sex Shops within a mile?

The British Government won’t be proud to admit such a thing; ‘The main cause of the Riot is sexual starvation’.

The current government is too ‘Conservative’ to admit such.

It’s really sad I tell you. It’s almost as if the Tories hate young people. They want to get rid of all potential middle class citizens (starving the Labor party).

They passed a law increasing student tuition; that one got enough people pissed off, with several protest on and off campuses, then finally culminating with the protests near parliament.

The next thing the Tories did was to start debating the British health scheme under the claim of cutting costs. Well, one of the points under discourse was continued support for young/single/teenage mothers, at this point, the women locked up shop. They were having none of it. How can you cut off their welfare then they’ll keep on churning out more yobs without any means to take care of them.

You see the yobs (Britain’s version of area boys) have been getting recruits via the ever-present conveyor belt of council flat dwellers, such as the ones in Peckham.

The Peckham Army

Mr. Cameron, Mr. Boris Johnson Mr. Clegg (wonder if that one knows what happens around him these days) all didn’t anticipate any of this, but how come they were all out of the country when the shit hit the fan *shrugs*.

Now they have to deal with the acute sexual starvation going on right now. (-_-) . I’m dead serious, these kids are horny as fuck and that’s the only explanation for all this foolery.

Get this Woman a Lawyer! I suspect she's not a looter...more like a giver..0_0

Or you can go with Griffin’s explanation; He claims the rioters just felt like copying what happened in the Arab world especially in Egypt.

I say that’s a load of bull. How come its only young people who are taking to the streets, young agile and restless people. The adults are all locked up in their homes helpless and confused about what to do.

The only solution is to convince these kids to go back home and have a good shag. They’ll be assured of good medicare once the madam gets knocked up.

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU BELIEVED ANY OF THE RUBBISH I JUST PUT UP HERE THEN YOU NEED TO GO GET YOUR HEAD EXAMINED.. RESEARCH FOR THIS WRITE UP WAS CARRIED OUT BY ON FIELD SPECIALIST WHICH INCLUDED PROFESSIONALS SUCH AS MYSELF AND SEVERAL OTHER ITA GBAN GBA MUSHIN MILITARY SCIENTIFIC SPECIALIST KNOWN TO HAVE CARRIED OUT MENTAL AND PHYSICAL PATTERN BEHAVIOR IN MUSHIN, ISALE EKO, RIO DI-JINERO AND PYONG YANG. SO WE ARE BAD LIKE THAT.

SEE YOU GUYS TOMORROW.

Put my play list on shuffle (Day 15)


Gosh! I love blogging with an I Pad,too bad I only get to see Freddie Sushey on the weekends.
Oh!
Freddie’s hardly mentioned cause he’s hardly around. Dude is responsible for watching the skies *Sssshhhhh, word has it that he was on duty when a certain government satellite got missing, a banny was involved*

well, I’m supposed to put my music play list on shuffle and blog about the first ten songs that come up. I won’t lie’ they’re interesting songs like; Mike Posner’s ‘Bow chiki wow wow’ and LMFAO’s ‘party rock’. But why talk about that when there are tons of things to blog about.

…………..

Left this post a while ago, didn’t complete it cause something else caught my attention.

-1st Song: All of the lights This song has been my phone’s ring tone for months and I still can’t get tired of the damn thing. The several artist who featured on it seemed so hell-bent on giving it their own mark. It worked completely. A crazy mix of diversity that unexpectedly creates a masterpiece.

-2nd Song: Motivation- Shit! The gbenshing anthem of 2011. My first wife Kelly Rowland did me proud on this one mehn. After paying for that boob job she definitely had no choice. Now all she wants to be is my motivation. Beats and lyrics make for some mad freaky imagination. This shuffle is definitely on heat.

-3rd Song: Lasgidi Grinding- hmmm, I still haven’t paid enough attention to this song though, I’m a great fan of Jessy Jagz and always look out for his material. Lasgidi grinding looks like he’s stuck to his old formula but the outcome’s not working for me per say. Not like it’s not good, I just wanted to hear something fresh from him. Still not a bad track to have though. Yelz I’m a fucking Lasgidi Boy.

-4th Song: Chasing pavements this was the first ever song I heard from Adele, a few years ago when I was still a MTV. Junkie (not MTV base oh) I stumbled across this interesting video, great concept but the lyrics were captivating. It’s stuck to me ever since then. Love Adele’s voice no doubt. Wish her swift recovery from her throat infection. (Yeah, I’m nice like that also).

-5th Song: Back when now this is the most surprising hit for me this year. Where the hell did Davido creep up from, especially with a sure-fire tune like this. The first day I heard this track I couldn’t stop moving, now I’ve gotten the perfect dance to this song down to the ‘T’. It’s a rags to riches song and it also boasts one of my favorite Nigerian rappers in Naeto-C. I’m proud to have this song on my play-list. Can practically leave it on repeat on the rare occasion.

-6th Song: Super Bass I don’t really have too much to say about this song. Not Nicki’s biggest fan but I sure like her hips though, something about having them do a swirl round a pole and then clamped around my waist while I show her what a Super bass really is. Rush of blood toh quality….

-7th Song: Boots of Danger (wait up)- O_O still haven’t figured out how this song got on my phone, I’ve never heard about ‘Tokyo police club’ in my life. The song is actually great though. I suspect it was a banni who put it on my phone. Now I have to thank her (pencils appointment in diary). It’s a great sound though and I love the drums.

-8th Song: I need a doctor- the mere fact that Dre made the effort to drop this track gave me some hope that Detox is eventually going to be out. The monstrosity that is the combination of Eminem and Dr. Dre’s talent needs to be let loose. Delaying isn’t even letting the fans like me lose interest. You could feel Eminem’s passion and anger bursting on this track. Recording this track would most probably have been emotional for these two guys. Skylar gray captured a magnificent mood with the hook as well. Thank God we still have people who make brilliant music.

-9th Song: Marvin’s Room: A lot of people love this song, well I hate it. It reminds me about the recent past. Decisions I’ve made about a girl I fell for. Its pretty messed up. I’m not in a good place emotionally right now so this song really riles me up.
Great piece though, just not what I’d love to listen to at a time like this, wonder why I still have it on my play-list. I’ve made that call, but I never could tell her she could do better. It’s not in my place to say so.

-10th Song: Stacy’s Mum: what a better pick-up song after the depressions of Marvin’s room. This is the ultimate MILF song (Mum I’d Like to Fuck). Heard this song once and I haven’t gotten tired of it. Sad that I’ve barely heard anything new from Fountains of Wayne ever since. Love playing the air guitar when this song comes on. It’s funny that the dude who wrote ‘Stacy’s mum’ was also the composer for the songs played in the movie ‘That thing you do’ starring Liv Tyler, Giovanni Ribisi and Colin Hanks, great movie. You guys should see it.

I intend to put up another post before the end of today. Laters *now listening to ‘Molowo noni’*

Disambiguation (Day 14)


I’m writing this post in the most uncomfortable way possible; my vision is painfully blurred and the only reason I’m still staring at the PC screen is because I stupidly tried updating my phone software and the damn thing is taking forever.

This is not Griffin, this is not Johnny. My name is Teniola. I am what you would call a combination of the two characters you all have come to know.

Forget what either personality has said on their various posts, I am their creator and claim responsibility for everything they put up here. Both, I confess, were borne out of varying necessities. The obvious difference between the two of them isn’t a varying moral code per say but actually, a tale of two extremes.

 

There's just one face beneath all the masks

Griffin can be seen to be mild-mannered and somewhat socially awkward while Johnny is a live wire, foul-mouthed and in some way masochistic.

Believe it or not, Teniola is all those thing and more but the main thing that stands me out as being both a combination of the two and also almost a different individual all together is the fact that I don’t take myself too seriously.

Then there are the stories Johnny goes on about. I always wonder why he does that though, maybe its entertaining to you guys but I find them quite distasteful actually.

Johnny is sort of like on a break now so its only going to be Me and Griffin putting up posts for now.

Yes, I’m a pile of complicated mess you might say.

See y’ all tomorrow.

Really Flipping Scripts (Day 13)


People who know me very well would testify that one of the things I love talking about is the silver-screen.

I love movies, ever since I discovered the big box I’ve been glued to a lot of things that come out of it. As a kid I had over 350 video-tapes personally. My Dad at some point was a single parent, always working from as early in the morning as I could remember to late at night. Coming home, he would always bring us something I and my siblings individually liked and from a young age we all had our individual leanings. For me, it was movies, I’d ask him to bring as much as he could. It seemed like he would just send one of his office workers down to the video store and pick about 15 for him to bring home to me, I would end up probably sending back a few I didn’t like (after watching all of them).

I was somewhat reclusive, I never really went out to play with my mates and most of the time the only ones I talked to were the ones who had a movie I hadn’t seen so I would politely ask them to bring them  to school the next day.

It was later I graduated into comic books and novels but the Movies were my first love.

Now the reason why I brought up this personal story is cause I was thinking about playing a little game called ‘Flipping the scripts’. Name your best movie and imagine if the script had gone another way, maybe say at the climax of the movie, would it have affected the ending or it would have made no difference? Yeah, I know it’s all in the director’s hands or the editing room but this time I’m asking you to Imagine You were the director of some of your favorite movies and you had the opportunity to change something about how things went. Describe one part or several you would have changed.

Example: say Titanic (far from my favorite movie but I know the girls dig it), the part where Jack gets invited to the ball and the rich Texan woman  offers to lend Jack her son’s tuxedo. What would have happened that night if she didn’t offer the tuxedo? Would Jack have been with Rose to have such a wonderful night leading them to feel a stronger bond between themselves, discovering such passionate Love?

Would he have shown her how to fly?

or Maybe Splash: What if from the very beginning Medicine had told Tom Hank’s character that she was a mermaid, what would have become of their relationship?

Imagine him saying: I thought i told you not to get wet?!

Well for the first Movie, I’ll say Rose would have given Billy Zane’s character a second look and that one being an ‘English’ gentleman would have wooed her through the night. By morning she would be having boiled eggs and orange Juice in his cabin, but sadly at the end, my guy for fade leave the babe as the ship went down. *sigh* It could have been love.

For Splash, Tom Hanks would have taken one second look at Medicine and told himself “omo, chick would have to do with out taking a bath for the rest of her life mehn” . They would have never gone for that Presidential dinner sef.

So I’m asking you guys, what’s your Favorite movie, and what part would you love to change or imagine changing?

Use the comment box and try to flip the script.

Fates and Chunks (Day12)


You know its funny how things are, you set out on a journey full of expectations, the destination’s unkown and you have no idea what to expect on your travels. I’m not talking about these present times, try to imagine what it would be like in say maybe the 12th century or the dark ages.

You arise from your bed of hay, smell the morning dew seeping in through  the tiny window from outside of your cottage. You look to your side, watch your young wife who you wedded when you were 21 and she was 18. In her arms she already holds you first son, barely a year old, the first one who has outlived the harsh winter. The boy has suckled on her breast through the night (at least it would stop him from crying). Your stay a moment to gaze at them, maybe it might be your last.

The others await you already, always the last to join up with the party. You find some dry bred and you push it down with a cup of Ale.What awaits you? what shall be your lot? Unclear and Unknown, the lands have been fallow for the past 2 planting seasons and you and the fellow village men cannot afford to survive any longer on roots and shrubs. There must be something out there, fortune or a new land to settle in. The old men and the boys not yet old enough must stay behind to tend to the village, only men who have fathered children can leave, at least they would have reason to come back.

You all set out at dawn, to the east for you have seen men come from the west with tales of starvation and even worse; the plague. Each and every man has one thing on their mind, survival.

Many of such journeys have taken place, men have set out from their homes, some for sheer curiosity and the rewards of adventure others for lack of choice, to seek out new opportunity, to test fate if she shall bring luck their way.

Life can be similar to such a scene in a lot of ways(well maybe not with you being 21 and married with child), you wake up one morning and you have to leave home, you have to find your own path and leave the comfort of your family, sometimes you leave alone, others leave with companions who bear with you the burden of the journey.

Life’s Journey has given varying results to different men/women, some have found success, fortune, fame and a defined life, others have been lost, never to find their way, wondering blind and deaf, their mouths and minds gagged and devoid of sensibilities. A few have been lucky, rescued by the hand of providence or mercy.

 

How Much of a chunk do you want?

Life can never hand out the same size of meat to two different individuals, it cuts at fate with a blunt knife, never measuring its jabs or thrusts, handing out peace meals on the occasion then reverting to helpful chunks the next minute. What could possibly be your lot when your turn comes? Only a few have been able to predict, only a handful have been guaranteed favor at such a feast of the fates.

How is your journey so far? What surprises have come your way? What chunk or piece has fallen on your plate.

You ask me for mine?

I cannot answer,

I cannot tell,

for Life is still serving me this meal and I damn sure am angling for a chunk.