Month: October 2011

Going out on a limb…


some of you would be familiar with the title of my post. For those of you who aren’t, it could be described as taking a wild guess or risking it all on something you aren’t sure of.

But in my case right now it simply means what it says literally; walking on one limb. For over 3 weeks now i started an exercise regiment that involved about 30mins of jogging and another 30 mins of stretches, sit-ups and crunches, all in a bid to get back into shape and lose some unwanted flab that was beginning to appear around my abdominal area.

It all seemed to be going on well initially. I was feeling in great shape, bulking up in the right places and feeling more alive in the mornings. Well until last week when i decided to push myself a bit further.
By rough estimation i jog about 2km or less every weekday morning and it usually takes me a maximum of 30mins to complete. By the 2nd week i was barely breaking a sweat to complete the same route in 20mins, so someone suggested i extend my route by another kilometer.
I chose a friday for this particular exercise since i would have the opportunity to access my condition on saturday without the fear of over exerting myself 2 days in a row if it turned out that i wasn’t ready.
half way through the new route i felt a pull in my left leg. it felt tight and at that point i knew something was wrong (well i figured it wasn’t so serious) ….i tried to keep going but the tightness was restrictive.
I ended up walking the rest of the route back home.
i figured maybe 2 days of rest would bring some relief. By monday morning i felt ready to go and out i went, completing the new route with relative ease. The next day didn’t turn out as planned though, as i completed my run on tuesday morning and got down to do a few crunches and sit-ups i felt my entire lower left leg give way from my knee to my ankle. The pain was numbing and putting weight on the leg was near impossible in fact.

It took me one sleepless night to figure out I needed to seek medical advice.
This was how I found out first hand that Doctors have the least sympathy when breaking bad news to you (trust me I appreciate the honesty). My doctor friend broke it to me straight; “from what I gather you’ve got a knee ligament sprain/strain..”.

For the first time I felt like a professional footballer but without the fat pay check and that’s exactly what I told her.
I’ve been advised to stay off jogging for the next 5 days and get proper heat treatment.
The stay off jogging part has been easy but the heat treatment has been difficult simply because I haven’t found anyone to give me a proper massage (I’m looking for offers).

The pain is still there, running from knee to ankle, annoying as ever so if you see me walk by you on the street just know I’m ‘going out on a limb’.

Deuces guys.

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Surprise!!!


I’m tired of explaining why I haven’t written or completed my stories in a while. Dammit! I’ve even developed a new segment called ‘Briefs’ in order to build some sort of consistency but still it hasn’t worked.

I’m sill struggling to string words together, guess this is another attempt at redemption.
For those of you who still believe in me, please hold strong. I’m not done yet.

Blank Faces

A lot of us African kids get surprised in the craziest ways. I got one of those recently and digesting it has been one of the many reasons I’ve been keeping my thoughts guarded. I always regard my mind as my most powerful weapon and also my greatest enemy, burning at the fore front has been this quirky surprise that I got a while back but as the days have passed I’ve gotten used to it though I fear i wasn’t as prepared as I thought I would be.

About a couple of months ago I had to make an impromptu trip to Lagos to assist my Dad handle some business. It wasn’t something too tasking or complex so I assumed it was a short vacation and a good opportunity to see my friends in my old neighborhood after a long time.

I spent 2 nights in Lagos (one night has to go down the worst in allergy infested nights ever by the way)and I was mostly on the road during the day so I only got to see my friends and members of my extended family during the evenings.
On my first night, my Uncles came around and we were having a friendly conversation until one of them asked me about a brother I knew about but had never seen or heard from ever since he was born.
I knew I had a brother for a while but my father barely discussed it except for mentioning his name in passing or while saying a prayer for all his children. It was ‘pretend its a normal subject matter’ territory when it came to that so it felt awkward that my uncles were bringing up the subject.
Then the same uncle pulled out his pocket-sized tablet and proceeded to show me a picture, it was of a young boy, probably in his late teens and he looked quite familiar. Almost immediately I saw the obvious features of my Dad about him. I grew more curious within me but outwardly I acted tired and uninterested. I excused myself and went to bed but not until I had given the issue some more thought.
I wondered what it would be like getting in touch with him, explored the new awareness I felt that I actually had more than one brother.
I consider me and my siblings(an older brother and a younger sister) to be a close-knit bunch. We’ve been through a whole lot together and despite the new additions it didn’t really require too much of an effort for us to develop the same equal affections towards my two kid sisters. We’ve watched them grow up and they barely see us as anything but brothers and sister.
But this was a different proposition entirely.

4 days after getting back from Lagos I woke up to a startling message. It was from my Dad and it wasn’t short, it was made up of one sentence and the rest were a couple of phone numbers, a PIN and two email addresses. The only statement read; “here is your brother’s number and email address, call him”
I confess I went through the message over a dozen times trying to figure out if this was proper, if this was the right way to do things.
I put myself in my Dad’s shoes for that moment alone, tried to imagine myself making that call, telling each of my grown up kids that the brother they always knew they had could now be reached and I felt it would be proper if they made an effort to develop a relationship with him. Well maybe that was what I would have done, not my dad.
Left to him he wasn’t answerable to any one and I doubt if he felt he owed us any explanation.

I eventually made contact though and slowly I’m beginning to develop a picture of what my brother’s life has been for the past 18 years. He just started College and I make an effort to check up on him regularly.

With regards to my Dad, let’s just say I’m used to it by now and I’m pretty sure this would be the last of these kind of surprises.

Some of you might think I’m talking a whole lot of personal stuff here but for the greater good I don’t really mind. Besides its more of a beautiful thing to know that I’ve got family out there that I can connect with.

‘One Night’ Continues shortly. Hopefully together we can solve the mystery of the briefcase and then move on to the Olympus series…thank you for the faith you have in me guys.

Deuces.

My Words..


I’m finding myself gradually, slowly. This is really me, Teniola. Not the crowd pleaser, not the Generic writer. This is really me.
I’ve come a long way. Trudging through swamps of self-doubt and artificial exultation. Now I hear nothing but clarity……..Do you hear it? No, You’re not in my head, neither are you in my pen. So no one shall judge my skill or wit, neither shall you tell me such phrases as ‘good stuff’ or ‘great piece’. I never needed such words years ago when I first started and was as shitty as ever, nor will I need them now.

Let me write ...

I write for me.

Believe it or not I am satisfied as long as ‘I’ read my own shit.
Like the lonely drummer I shall dance to my own beat. Rhythm composed for me and enjoyed by me.
Let he who cares to listen or read enjoy, but your chitty – chatter won’t phase me anymore, to praise or to ridicule me. A gentle palm on my hand to adjust my grip on the stick will be appreciated though, for that is what I would do to you. Like a fellow drummer in a hall of music I embrace you my brother/sister. There is not one of you I do not respect. For together we give the world reason and meaning. Drown out the wails of pain to compose sad songs so the world may know that one has fallen and is in pain or sing of cheer and laughter so we all may celebrate.

I will not join the Rock Stars who choose to blot their eyes in mascara and parade the social networks with their air guitars and literal acoustics. I will rather plant myself in the earth of reality and grow into a voice of reasoning, tangible and audible. Rich with seeds of knowledge and passion.

I pray I achieve, I pray I succeed. I pray you all do as well…but I pray I succeed most 🙂 .

Dueces.

New York! New York!


Yeah, its been a while guys and deep down I’ve missed writing. it just hasn’t felt right. But today did feel right. In fact it hasn’t felt this right in a long,long time.

Flatiron Building

Was watching ‘Frankie & Johnny’ (directed by Gary Marshall) and I just kept thinking about New York City.
Ever since I was young I’ve always been fascinated by a lot of things New York; right from the time when it was still the world’s murder capital and even during and after 9/11.

Beautiful view i tell you.

The accents, the always busy streets, the multi- cultural melting pot. Too many things excite me about New York.
A lot of folks have even written songs about the ‘Big Apple’ from Frank Sinatra to JayZ.
The Boroughs, like the palm of your hands could read off like sweet poetry; Queens, The Bronx, Manhattan, Brooklyn and Staten Island.
What’s not to love?! I ask you.
I’ve always wanted to travel and New York has definitely been at the fore front of my dream destinations (would hate to go like a tourist though). The birthplace of Hip- Hop, the Rockefeller center, the Statue of Liberty and probably being around when The US. Open is going on.

Brooklyn in tha house

Then there’s the movie ‘Goodfellas’ by Martin Scorsese. If ever one needed an iconic movie that referenced New York City, then ‘Goodfellas’ and not the TV show ‘Gossip Girl’ is one to see. The movie sealed the deal between me and the city and it hasn’t changed ever since.

till I dream of Paris again, it’s always going to be – “New York! New York!”

Deuces…