Month: February 2013

Teaser to ‘theboxofficebodega’ (Part 2)


Top 5 Movie Dialogues of the Modern Era 

Here’s a continuation of our earlier post. If you didn’t get bored or nod off while reading the first part, I doubt you’d want to take your eyes off the pages while reading the second and concluding part. I’m handing you all over to Akinkunmi (@iam_dq) ..

*D’Q enters studio*

300

The Abs make the man, not.
The Abs make the man, not.

Sigh.. how do you put 300 into a few words? The entire movie is filled with earth moving words! Yes.. the earth moved every time a mad line was said in the movie. I’m actually serious here guys.. the earth moved. as it just moved now.

That said.. WOW! This movie is the very reason for movies. This movie is so good, it has its own movie.

Gerard Butler can’t do a better movie, he knows this himself so he doesn’t mind doing movies like ‘Bounty Hunter’ just to press Jennifer Aniston’s bombom. C’mon.. everyone wants to press her bombom too.

Zack Snyder can’t direct a better movie (This was said before d’Q realised Snyder will be directing Man of Steel).

You guys know what Matrix did to special effects? yeah.. 300 did the same to dialogue. It was as if no one said anything in movies till 300 came around *points at D’Q*,”that’s what he said.

Even singers and rappers started taking lines off the movie.. errh Modenine is not a rapper right? D’banj too is not a singer right? Ok, Let’s move on.

 

King Leonidas: You?

 

Free Greek-Blacksmith: Blacksmith.

 

King Leonidas: [turns back shouting] Spartans! What is your profession?

 

Spartans: WAR! WAR! WAR!

 

King Leonidas: [turning to Daxos] You see, old friend? I brought more soldiers than you did.

too many songs have the above lines in its lyrics.. we established earlier that Modenine and D’banj aren’t in the reckoning, right?

Ok ok. Can we go home now?  No we can’t.

Messenger: Choose your next words carefully, Leonidas. They may be your last as king.

 

King Leonidas: [to himself: thinking] “Earth and water”?

 

[Leonidas unsheathes and points his sword at the Messenger’s throat]

 

Messenger: Madman! You’re a madman!

 

King Leonidas: Earth and water? You’ll find plenty of both down there.

 

Messenger: No man, Persian or Greek, no man threatens a messenger!

 

King Leonidas: You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to my city steps. You insult my queen. You threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh, I’ve chosen my words carefully, Persian. Perhaps you should have done the same!

 

Messenger: This is blasphemy! This is madness!

 

King Leonidas: Madness…?

 

[shouting]

 

King Leonidas: This is Sparta!

 

[Kicks the messenger down the well]

You guys should go back and see this scene all over again. that ‘THIS IS SPARTA’ line was said with so much venom, saliva flew all over the place from Leonidas’ mouth! EPIC.!

and this..

 Xerxes: But I am a generous god. I can make you rich beyond all measure. I will make you warlord of all Greece. You will carry my battle standard to the heart of Europa. Your Athenian rivals will kneel at your feet if you will but kneel at mine.

 

King Leonidas: You are generous as you are divine, O king of kings. Such an offer only a madman would refuse. But the, uh, the idea of kneeling, it’s- You see, slaughtering all those men of yours has, uh, well it’s left a nasty cramp in my leg, so kneeling will be hard for me.

Xerxes: You Greeks take pride in your logic. I suggest you employ it. Consider the beautiful land you so vigorously defend. Picture it reduced to ash at my whim! Consider the fate of your women!

 

King Leonidas: Clearly you don’t know our women! I might as well have marched them up here, judging by what I’ve seen.

 

 

d’Q: This is where I stop!!

CAST

King Leonidas – Gerard Butler

Xerxes – Rodrigo Santoro

Stellios – Michael Fassbender

d’Q – Kunmi.. yes, it is I. I am d’Q

Lucky Number Slevin

TF is Atarexia?!
TF is Atarexia?!

Mr. Goodkat: Charlie Chaplin once entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest in Monte Carlo and came in third; that’s a story.

d’Q: wait.. what???

Mr. Goodkat: Charlie Chaplin once entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest in Monte Ca..

d’Q: I heard you the first time. Just thinking.. How in the world???

 

Ok… Ok. The greatest travesty ever, apart from Goodluck becoming President, has to be Rotten Tomatoes giving Lucky Number Slevin a miserly 51% rating!. What in the world were those guys thinking?! Someone please hold me before I do something bad like go watch ‘Last Flight to Abuja’..

This movie impresses without even trying. Right out of Paul McGuigan’s mind into yours.  Right from the start of the movie, you know you’re onto something special.

I can start an entire blog reviewing this movie but this piece is only about the dialogue.  Even if you’re not a fan of dialogue and all you want in a movie is pishaun-pishaun, the banter in this movie would surely make you repent.

Wait first.. has more than one person called you a pishaun-pishaun movie lover?

The Rabbi: My father used to say: “The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him on the nose, the second time someone calls you a horse you call him a jerk but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it’s time to go shopping for a saddle.”

d’Q: Sir, did you just tasi the pishaun lovers?

If a movie has a really great cast, most directors won’t bother paying attention to the dialogue ‘cos ‘what the heck! Morgan Freeman is in my movie… even if he says trash, people would still watch.’  Not this one, too many A-List actors and a lot of time was put into making sure they had great lines. I told myself after seeing the movie for the 11th time that even if unknowns were cast in the movie and they were given those exact lines, the movie would still be mad! Yeah.. its that good.

This movie is the truth. As far as crazy dialogue and intelligent banter goes, Lucky Number Slevin is the truth.

The Rabbi: If there’s one thing I know, is when someone is lying. A man in my position, that’s all he has to go on. To know a lie when he hears it. It’s the difference between life and death. Your own. Someone else’s. That being said, he wasn’t lying.

d’Q: Thank you Sir. I ain’t never lied.

Here.. read this.

Slevin: I’m sorry, who are you?

The Boss: I’m The Boss.

Slevin: I thought he was The Boss.

The Boss: Why? Do we look alike? So, Mr Fisher, you were gonna tell me something?

Slevin: I don’t know, you brought me here.

The Boss: Yes I did. Back when you thought I was him.

Slevin: I didn’t think you were him, I thought he was you. And I was trying to tell him – you that they picked up the wrong guy.

The Boss: The wrong guy for what?

Slevin: Whatever it is you wanna see me about.

The Boss: Do you know what I wanna see you about?

Slevin: No.

The Boss: Then how do you know I got the wrong guy?

Slevin: Because I’m not…

The Boss: Maybe I want to give you $96,000. In that case do I still have the wrong guy?

Slevin: Do you wanna give me $96,000?

The Boss: No, do you wanna give me $96,000?

Slevin: No, should I?

The Boss: I don’t know, should you?

Slevin: I don’t know, should I?

The Boss: [pause] Long story short.

Slevin: I think we’re well past that point.

The Boss: I bet it was that mouth that got you that nose.

Slevin: Okay, I’m under the impression that you’re under the impression that I owe you $96,000…?

The Boss: No, you owe Slim Hopkins $96,000. You owe Slim, Slim owes me. You owe me.

d’Q: and Terdoo owes me for this.

and read this..

Slevin: How do you justify being a rabbi… and a gangster?

The Rabbi: I don’t. I’m a bad man who doesn’t waste time wondering what could’ve been when I am what could’ve been and what could not have been. I live on both sides of the fence. My grass is always green. Consider, Mr. Fisher… there are two men sitting here before you, and one of them you should be very afraid of. Where’s my money?

You people should just go see the movie. Erh, no. its not at the cinemas. Download at kat.ph

CAST

The Rabbi – Sir Ben Kingsley

Mr. Goodkat – Bruce Willis

The Boss – Morgan Freeman

Slevin Kelevra – Josh Hartnett

Lindsey – Lucy Liu

d’Q – Kunmi.. yeah, that’s me. I am d’Q

Well, there you have it, movies with snippets of dialogue that had me going “wow!”.  No LOTR, no Harry Potter and no Usual Suspects (this one will surely raise the rabble).

Side note about LOTR; personally, the main dialogue (or monologue in this case) of any note would have to be Sam wise Gamji’s speeches. To be honest, he could have summed it all up in 3 sentences;

‘We all need each other.’, ‘This world is worth fighting for’ and ‘I think I’m Bisexual’ so, no, Sam’s long winding speeches didn’t make the cut.

The debate can go on for a long time but this is OUR LIST and we are sticking to it.

*unplugs scene infiltration apparatus & shuts down laptop*

See you guys in the comment section J

Teaser to ‘Theboxofficebodega’ (Part 1)


Hello Guys!

having a horrid day but I still have a duty which I must fulfill.

I’m starting a new project in conjunction with my friend Osaze (@O_kenzua) called theboxofficebodega.wordpress.com and predictabely, its going to be about moives.

I was supposed to have this piece below feature on Terdoo’s Sodas and Popcorns which I churned out with Akinkunmi (@iam_dQ) but they felt it was too bulky. So, as a teaser to my upcoming blog, I’m featuring the first of a two part piece here.

I hope you guys like it.

Top Five Movie Dialogues of the Modern Era.

Griffin-  yo! D’Q! Care to tell these good folks what we’re doing here, I’m not sure I’ll be able to by time I’ve had a drink from this *takes 4 gulps from kasapreko bottle* (0_0)……..oh forget it, let me just get right to it.

I and Kunmi got this gig by sheer coincidence; the more I think about it the more I keep blaming my big mouth for not keeping quiet at the right time (na for twitter e start oh). We’re talking ‘Best movie dialogues of the modern era’ and whether you like it or not, me and Kunmi have narrowed it down to 5 movies. We all know how important dialogue is to a movie (if you don’t then stick to watching Charlie Chaplin), the back and forth or Hamlet like monologues that in moments of visual non-engagement or dullness still keeps you drawn to a particular scene. It’s a rarity to find moments within a movie when both the dialogue and the accompanying scene totally engage you, so we’re paying homage to those five special movies that by the sheer force of their dialogue blew our minds or simply made us reach for the Vaseline (shout out to #TeamForeverAlone )

I know some of you might not agree with a couple of titles on the list but if you’re familiar with anyone of us involved in this post you’ll know by now that we really don’t care and yes, Titanic didn’t make the cut, bite me.

The movies are, in no particular order of preference; Basic Instincts, 300, Lucky Number Slevin, Pulp Fiction and A few Good Men.

We’ll be doing an unorthodox overview on each movie then narrowing down to a key dialogue or moment in the movie we all are familiar with, try not to nod off guys, I need you.

*Powers Laptop, opens documents folder, scrolls past laundry folder and clicks on ‘classic movies’, plugs laptop to an elaborately designed machine aptly named scene infiltration apparatus*

You people think I’m going to a cinema hall to watch film because of review abi, you all must be joking. In this age of ….no, not Netflix, Torrent and pirate bay and I’ll be paying 2k for film trick. Hian!

*brings out several bottles of Kasapreko* Soda and popcorn can’t be good for a virile man like me; the system needs to be flushed, cleansed and inebriated.

Basic Instincts

Sharon 'No Panties' Stone
Sharon ‘No Panties’ Stone

Griffin- I won’t lie, this is the coming of age movie ….sexually, of every guy born in my time. Michael Douglas was my Superhero each time he took that Shrink from the back or when he was pounding Sharon Stone.

I still don’t understand how we all fail to realise Sharon Stone was the killer, I mean, she wrote a damn book about killing a Rock Star!

That final scene with the Ice pick under the bed, if I was Mr. Douglas, my spirit mind would have told me to run.. after  disposing of all my used condoms.

There are too many memorable lines in this Paul Verhoeven masterpiece so I’ll just get right to my area of interest;

*teleports to Sharon Stone’s interrogation scene, pushes Michael Douglas out of front seat and assumes vantage position*


Gus: Did you ever do drugs with Mr. Boz?
Catherine: Sure.
Gus: What kind of drugs?
Catherine: Cocaine. Have you ever fucked on cocaine, Nick? It’s nice.
[Catherine Tramell uncrosses her legs and it can be seen she’s wearing no underwear]
Nick: You like playing games don’t you?
Catherine: I have a degree in psychology, it goes with the turf… Games are fun

Griffin:  Mr. Douglas Sharrap! She’s opening FIFA 13 for you and you’re asking 21 questions… (._. )

A Few Good Men

Uniforms Rock!

Anyone who is a fan of Aaron Sorkin has to have seen this movie. Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise put in such intense performances while Demi Moore is permitted to stand by and look cute in Navy uniform throughout.

Sorkin’s brilliant screen writing shines through in this classic military courtroom drama about the trial of 2 young soldiers being prosecuted for the murder of a fellow soldier. There’s nothing funny about the premise, reason why I’m wondering how I’m the one talking about it. I already feel depressed but not to worry, watching Cruise and Nicholson have a go at each other is quite enjoyable.

Judge Randolph: *Consider yourself in Contempt!*
Kaffee: *Colonel Jessep, did you order the Code Red?*
Judge Randolph: You *don’t* have to answer that question!
Col. Jessep: I’ll answer the question!
[to Kaffee]
Col. Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I think I’m entitled to.
Col. Jessep: *You want answers?*
Kaffee: *I want the truth!*
Col. Jessep: *You can’t handle the truth!*
[pauses]
Col. Jessep: Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessep: I did the job I…
Kaffee: *Did you order the Code Red?*
Col. Jessep: *You’re Goddamn right I did!*

Griffin- *whistles* See casting… *wipes sweat off brow* but Col. Jessep you for calm down.

Pulp Fiction

Tell Me you hate it. I dare you!
Tell Me you hate it. I dare you!

You know that feeling of welcomed confusion? You don’t? Me neither but apparently that’s part of what you’re supposed to feel when you watch Pulp Fiction. Quentin Tarantino’s masterpiece that stays timeless in more ways than one.

There’s something about the dialogue in this movie that engages you, even in the slow and intimate moments like when Bruce Willis’s Butch goes home to meet Fabienne and they’re lying in bed talking. Maybe it’s because of the back to front way the movie is arranged I don’t know but it’s hard not to get engrossed in the dialogue.

It’s pretty hard to put a finger on a particular scene that doesn’t stand out because nothing unnecessary and insignificant is ever said throughout the running time of this movie (even the tomato joke is funny).


Jules: You, flock of seagulls, you know why we’re here? Why don’t you tell my man Vincent where you got the shit hid at?
Marvin: It’s over th…
Jules: I don’t remember askin’ you a Goddamn thing! You were saying?
Roger: It’s in the cupboard.
[Vincent starts looking in the upper cupboard]
Roger: No, no, the one by your kn-knees.
Jules: We happy?
[Vincent continues staring at the briefcase’s contents]
Jules: Vincent! We happy?
Vincent: Yeah, we happy.
Brett: I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name. I got yours, Vincent, right? But I didn’t get yours…
Jules: My name’s Pitt. And your ass ain’t talkin’ your way out of this shit.
Brett: No, no, I just want you to know… I just want you to know how sorry we are that things got so fucked up with us and Mr. Wallace. We got into this thing with the best intentions and I never…
Jules: [Jules shoots the man on the couch] I’m sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn’t mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. What’s the matter? Oh, you were finished! Well, allow me to retort. What does Marsellus Wallace look like?
Brett: What?
Jules: What country are you from?
Brett: What? What? Wh – ?
Jules: “What” ain’t no country I’ve ever heard of. They speak English in What?
Brett: What?
Jules: English, motherfucker, do you speak it?
Brett: Yes! Yes!
Jules: Then you know what I’m sayin’!
Brett: Yes!
Jules: Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like!
Brett: What?
Jules: Say ‘what’ again. Say ‘what’ again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!

*starts packing*

Griffin- Brett I swear you be ode, me, I’m moving to What. It has to be a country for you to have said it so many goddamn times. ( -_-)…..They’re all probably deaf in What.

Very Random.


I really dislike starting a post without any idea whatsoever about what to put up. Been struggling with so many ideas, thoughts and concept but nothing really seems to click.

For minutes I’m sitting still trying to put a fuzzy picture in my head together yet I feel like it isn’t perfect, like if it really was worth thinking, it wouldn’t be so forced.

 

These thoughts come to me at odd and random moments, sometimes when I least expect it or when I probably shouldn’t be thinking such thoughts. Have you ever thought up a serial killer story during morning devotion? or a car or bus jacking scene while trying to get dinner.

Its like left field has decided to perch in my thoughts and doesn’t feel like going anywhere, in fact, its thinking of paying me in advance for the optimum space I have chosen to provide.

Somebody help!

I’ve started doing new routines, just to see if I can jolt something; buying magazines, spending less time on social media, talking to people in person rather than hiding behind an instant messenger.

Will it help my situation? I have no freaking clue, I’m just trying to break away from my comfort zone and see if some sort of epiphany creeps up and hits me in the head.

Did you guys check out Tola’s blog? If you didn’t you can check it out here; http://skilobo.wordpress.com/2013/02/06/volunteers-wanted/

It’s really disturbing to realise the kind of low our educational level has fallen to, worst still is that the people who need to act aren’t because that’s not top of their priority.

I’m not saying it was perfect in my time, but I know for sure that it wasn’t so bad. A 14-year-old can’t spell ‘want’ or ‘Lawyer’? What else can we hope for?

It just goes to show how wide the gap between the haves and have-nots has grown because truly quality education is hardly provided by the government any more.

Considering my line of work child education and most especially readership affects us to a great deal. Kids of today find it hard to pick up a book to read, not even a comic book sparks their curiosity.

I’m looking forward to the program and I hope more people sign up. Especially the Gbagaun detectors, the spelling teachers and Grammar tutors on twitter. Being able to affect an upcoming generation positively starts with a step so lets start with Ebute Meta.

 

That wasn’t what I intended to blog about.