There’s a lot I have to learn, a lot still yet to unfold before my eyes. With the world still spread out beyond what my eyes can see and what my mind can fathom I refuse to believe I know close to enough, in my mind’s eye I still see myself as a toddler learning to walk, albeit with little time on my side. The world moves too fast to permit me to stand and be amazed by the sights and sounds it reveals to me with each passing moment of epiphany and experience so I have become a fast learner (or so I feel). Now I must master this art, this skill, not offered to me of my own choosing but landing upon my lap by mere chance and providence. I have wondered through my world feeling unobligated to commit and profoundly lost, shying away from the hard truths and facts that life fosters on a man when he approaches his defining moment.
Now here I am, more or less an ‘Ad man’. Not yet the creative cog, assuming the role of a peripheral figure, observing and imbibing parts of the trade. In the blacksmith’s shed I am still the apprentice’s apprentice or maybe I’m leaping for something way beyond my grasp, something not meant to be mine. In more ways than one it seems my search mirrors that of a certain TV character I have come to admire, one who is in many ways, lost, corrupted, idealistic, enigmatic and repulsive in equal measures; Donald Draper, a man’s man from the outside but a certainly convoluted character when examined under a microscope. In finding myself I have gone to a far too unfamiliar place and tried my hands at things I know nothing of, I have made friends with men I never imagined I would call such and they have shown me things and ways in which the world works I thought never possible. I, like Don Draper have probably stolen a part of their lives. As Don took the name of a man he called a comrade, I have taken bits and pieces of different men’s trade and I have made it my own, fine tuning ceaselessly to become something convoluted.
From an observant post you might judge both me and Mr. Draper harshly, but maybe you move too quickly, without seeing deeply into our souls, our struggle to exist and become relevant parts of society. If you do not look closely you might not see the demons we wrestle with at night, the sleepless nights we endure to stay within the boundaries of sanity. You think I take much pride in associating myself with such a fictional character, you think me mad or disturbed. Well, that might be true in some parts of this particular case but the true message I make attempt to deliver here is that we all, to some large extent are trying to become Mr. Donald Draper. It is merely a matter of permanent perpetuation or momentary success.
I want to make enough money to provide for my family, I would like to drink so much whiskey and still not have to worry about my liver, I would like to smoke a cigarette called LUCKY STRIKES and even if this might not be socially acceptable, I imagine myself relishing the excitement of an extra-marital affair.
You gasp at my honesty and judge me? Feel free. Enjoy this honesty; it is no longer commonly or easily traded. You damn Draper wanna bes.
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