Category: 30 Day Blog Challenge

Day 17


Riots! Football! Chicks! Mehn!!! The world is going to hell!

BYOB was crazy as usual….what can a man do in this town???

Mcfly was tame unusually tonight….had nothing to do with me though.

Let’s just say today was too formal for me to put too much out there.

How are you peeps doing?

See ya tomorrow. Deuces (been a while I did that).

Advertisements

Konji Riots (Day 16)


*drumming fingers against chair’s arm rest*

So I’ve been gone for a few days right, handling some personal business. It then hit me all of a sudden that I’ve been pretty one-sided with you lot. Most of the female readers here think I’m a Misogynist and a good one for that matter. Not like I give a rat’s ass what you think but it really made me feel terrible since I heard it from one of my readers and she was one of the recent ‘P’ I was setting.

Imagine my surprise when she confronted me with this accusation when I hadn’t stuck my Mcfly into her. I just let her go, she was the one I had been planning to show the stripper pole I just got for the ladies (its portable). Oh well, I’ll just have to work on getting another special someone and trust me, if I’m showing you a stripper pole it means you’re special so quit making it seem like I’m cheapening women folk!….

Portable Stripper Pole

To more pressing issues, I’ve been watching the riots in London yeah, and the looting and the general break down of law and order (it’s some mad adrenalin rush), with all the pictures and video feeds I’ve been getting, I’ve made one keen observation, No one’s talking about breaking into sex shops.

I haven’t seen any guys packing cartons of condoms for days or chicks stacking up dildos and lubes.

Come on guys! Are all these looters that boring? Are their sex lives in such shambles. I’m sure if they did a survey of the amount of intercourse that has occurred in the past few months (under Tory rule), they’d see a sharp decline. Now all the departmental stores have to bear the brunt.

More than 70% of the rioters are neither criminals or have prior criminal offenses or citations, this same amount if further investigation is carried out will be discovered to be HORNY, yes I said it.

Foot Locker?!? Really? No Sex Shops within a mile?

The British Government won’t be proud to admit such a thing; ‘The main cause of the Riot is sexual starvation’.

The current government is too ‘Conservative’ to admit such.

It’s really sad I tell you. It’s almost as if the Tories hate young people. They want to get rid of all potential middle class citizens (starving the Labor party).

They passed a law increasing student tuition; that one got enough people pissed off, with several protest on and off campuses, then finally culminating with the protests near parliament.

The next thing the Tories did was to start debating the British health scheme under the claim of cutting costs. Well, one of the points under discourse was continued support for young/single/teenage mothers, at this point, the women locked up shop. They were having none of it. How can you cut off their welfare then they’ll keep on churning out more yobs without any means to take care of them.

You see the yobs (Britain’s version of area boys) have been getting recruits via the ever-present conveyor belt of council flat dwellers, such as the ones in Peckham.

The Peckham Army

Mr. Cameron, Mr. Boris Johnson Mr. Clegg (wonder if that one knows what happens around him these days) all didn’t anticipate any of this, but how come they were all out of the country when the shit hit the fan *shrugs*.

Now they have to deal with the acute sexual starvation going on right now. (-_-) . I’m dead serious, these kids are horny as fuck and that’s the only explanation for all this foolery.

Get this Woman a Lawyer! I suspect she's not a looter...more like a giver..0_0

Or you can go with Griffin’s explanation; He claims the rioters just felt like copying what happened in the Arab world especially in Egypt.

I say that’s a load of bull. How come its only young people who are taking to the streets, young agile and restless people. The adults are all locked up in their homes helpless and confused about what to do.

The only solution is to convince these kids to go back home and have a good shag. They’ll be assured of good medicare once the madam gets knocked up.

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU BELIEVED ANY OF THE RUBBISH I JUST PUT UP HERE THEN YOU NEED TO GO GET YOUR HEAD EXAMINED.. RESEARCH FOR THIS WRITE UP WAS CARRIED OUT BY ON FIELD SPECIALIST WHICH INCLUDED PROFESSIONALS SUCH AS MYSELF AND SEVERAL OTHER ITA GBAN GBA MUSHIN MILITARY SCIENTIFIC SPECIALIST KNOWN TO HAVE CARRIED OUT MENTAL AND PHYSICAL PATTERN BEHAVIOR IN MUSHIN, ISALE EKO, RIO DI-JINERO AND PYONG YANG. SO WE ARE BAD LIKE THAT.

SEE YOU GUYS TOMORROW.

Put my play list on shuffle (Day 15)


Gosh! I love blogging with an I Pad,too bad I only get to see Freddie Sushey on the weekends.
Oh!
Freddie’s hardly mentioned cause he’s hardly around. Dude is responsible for watching the skies *Sssshhhhh, word has it that he was on duty when a certain government satellite got missing, a banny was involved*

well, I’m supposed to put my music play list on shuffle and blog about the first ten songs that come up. I won’t lie’ they’re interesting songs like; Mike Posner’s ‘Bow chiki wow wow’ and LMFAO’s ‘party rock’. But why talk about that when there are tons of things to blog about.

…………..

Left this post a while ago, didn’t complete it cause something else caught my attention.

-1st Song: All of the lights This song has been my phone’s ring tone for months and I still can’t get tired of the damn thing. The several artist who featured on it seemed so hell-bent on giving it their own mark. It worked completely. A crazy mix of diversity that unexpectedly creates a masterpiece.

-2nd Song: Motivation- Shit! The gbenshing anthem of 2011. My first wife Kelly Rowland did me proud on this one mehn. After paying for that boob job she definitely had no choice. Now all she wants to be is my motivation. Beats and lyrics make for some mad freaky imagination. This shuffle is definitely on heat.

-3rd Song: Lasgidi Grinding- hmmm, I still haven’t paid enough attention to this song though, I’m a great fan of Jessy Jagz and always look out for his material. Lasgidi grinding looks like he’s stuck to his old formula but the outcome’s not working for me per say. Not like it’s not good, I just wanted to hear something fresh from him. Still not a bad track to have though. Yelz I’m a fucking Lasgidi Boy.

-4th Song: Chasing pavements this was the first ever song I heard from Adele, a few years ago when I was still a MTV. Junkie (not MTV base oh) I stumbled across this interesting video, great concept but the lyrics were captivating. It’s stuck to me ever since then. Love Adele’s voice no doubt. Wish her swift recovery from her throat infection. (Yeah, I’m nice like that also).

-5th Song: Back when now this is the most surprising hit for me this year. Where the hell did Davido creep up from, especially with a sure-fire tune like this. The first day I heard this track I couldn’t stop moving, now I’ve gotten the perfect dance to this song down to the ‘T’. It’s a rags to riches song and it also boasts one of my favorite Nigerian rappers in Naeto-C. I’m proud to have this song on my play-list. Can practically leave it on repeat on the rare occasion.

-6th Song: Super Bass I don’t really have too much to say about this song. Not Nicki’s biggest fan but I sure like her hips though, something about having them do a swirl round a pole and then clamped around my waist while I show her what a Super bass really is. Rush of blood toh quality….

-7th Song: Boots of Danger (wait up)- O_O still haven’t figured out how this song got on my phone, I’ve never heard about ‘Tokyo police club’ in my life. The song is actually great though. I suspect it was a banni who put it on my phone. Now I have to thank her (pencils appointment in diary). It’s a great sound though and I love the drums.

-8th Song: I need a doctor- the mere fact that Dre made the effort to drop this track gave me some hope that Detox is eventually going to be out. The monstrosity that is the combination of Eminem and Dr. Dre’s talent needs to be let loose. Delaying isn’t even letting the fans like me lose interest. You could feel Eminem’s passion and anger bursting on this track. Recording this track would most probably have been emotional for these two guys. Skylar gray captured a magnificent mood with the hook as well. Thank God we still have people who make brilliant music.

-9th Song: Marvin’s Room: A lot of people love this song, well I hate it. It reminds me about the recent past. Decisions I’ve made about a girl I fell for. Its pretty messed up. I’m not in a good place emotionally right now so this song really riles me up.
Great piece though, just not what I’d love to listen to at a time like this, wonder why I still have it on my play-list. I’ve made that call, but I never could tell her she could do better. It’s not in my place to say so.

-10th Song: Stacy’s Mum: what a better pick-up song after the depressions of Marvin’s room. This is the ultimate MILF song (Mum I’d Like to Fuck). Heard this song once and I haven’t gotten tired of it. Sad that I’ve barely heard anything new from Fountains of Wayne ever since. Love playing the air guitar when this song comes on. It’s funny that the dude who wrote ‘Stacy’s mum’ was also the composer for the songs played in the movie ‘That thing you do’ starring Liv Tyler, Giovanni Ribisi and Colin Hanks, great movie. You guys should see it.

I intend to put up another post before the end of today. Laters *now listening to ‘Molowo noni’*

Disambiguation (Day 14)


I’m writing this post in the most uncomfortable way possible; my vision is painfully blurred and the only reason I’m still staring at the PC screen is because I stupidly tried updating my phone software and the damn thing is taking forever.

This is not Griffin, this is not Johnny. My name is Teniola. I am what you would call a combination of the two characters you all have come to know.

Forget what either personality has said on their various posts, I am their creator and claim responsibility for everything they put up here. Both, I confess, were borne out of varying necessities. The obvious difference between the two of them isn’t a varying moral code per say but actually, a tale of two extremes.

 

There's just one face beneath all the masks

Griffin can be seen to be mild-mannered and somewhat socially awkward while Johnny is a live wire, foul-mouthed and in some way masochistic.

Believe it or not, Teniola is all those thing and more but the main thing that stands me out as being both a combination of the two and also almost a different individual all together is the fact that I don’t take myself too seriously.

Then there are the stories Johnny goes on about. I always wonder why he does that though, maybe its entertaining to you guys but I find them quite distasteful actually.

Johnny is sort of like on a break now so its only going to be Me and Griffin putting up posts for now.

Yes, I’m a pile of complicated mess you might say.

See y’ all tomorrow.

Fates and Chunks (Day12)


You know its funny how things are, you set out on a journey full of expectations, the destination’s unkown and you have no idea what to expect on your travels. I’m not talking about these present times, try to imagine what it would be like in say maybe the 12th century or the dark ages.

You arise from your bed of hay, smell the morning dew seeping in throughย  the tiny window from outside of your cottage. You look to your side, watch your young wife who you wedded when you were 21 and she was 18. In her arms she already holds you first son, barely a year old, the first one who has outlived the harsh winter. The boy has suckled on her breast through the night (at least it would stop him from crying). Your stay a moment to gaze at them, maybe it might be your last.

The others await you already, always the last to join up with the party. You find some dry bred and you push it down with a cup of Ale.What awaits you? what shall be your lot? Unclear and Unknown, the lands have been fallow for the past 2 planting seasons and you and the fellow village men cannot afford to survive any longer on roots and shrubs. There must be something out there, fortune or a new land to settle in. The old men and the boys not yet old enough must stay behind to tend to the village, only men who have fathered children can leave, at least they would have reason to come back.

You all set out at dawn, to the east for you have seen men come from the west with tales of starvation and even worse; the plague. Each and every man has one thing on their mind, survival.

Many of such journeys have taken place, men have set out from their homes, some for sheer curiosity and the rewards of adventure others for lack of choice, to seek out new opportunity, to test fate if she shall bring luck their way.

Life can be similar to such a scene in a lot of ways(well maybe not with you being 21 and married with child), you wake up one morning and you have to leave home, you have to find your own path and leave the comfort of your family, sometimes you leave alone, others leave with companions who bear with you the burden of the journey.

Life’s Journey has given varying results to different men/women, some have found success, fortune, fame and a defined life, others have been lost, never to find their way, wondering blind and deaf, their mouths and minds gagged and devoid of sensibilities. A few have been lucky, rescued by the hand of providence or mercy.

 

How Much of a chunk do you want?

Life can never hand out the same size of meat to two different individuals, it cuts at fate with a blunt knife, never measuring its jabs or thrusts, handing out peace meals on the occasion then reverting to helpful chunks the next minute. What could possibly be your lot when your turn comes? Only a few have been able to predict, only a handful have been guaranteed favor at such a feast of the fates.

How is your journey so far? What surprises have come your way? What chunk or piece has fallen on your plate.

You ask me for mine?

I cannot answer,

I cannot tell,

for Life is still serving me this meal and I damn sure am angling for a chunk.

Day 10 & 11 (Flipping The Script)


Fuck what you heard! I aint a quitter and this challenge is too damned easy for me to let ride all over me! WTF you say?!
I’m getting soft? Nigga get over here lemme teach you a thing or two about pitching and swinging…. *hoists baseball bat over should and gets ready to swing*; yeah, stupid words come out your damn mouth and I use this here bat to make your words a home run. *smack*
I told you so..

griffin was at it again this weekend, trying to shut me out and faffing around. Its taken me a lot and a great deal of stress to break out of that mind prison he has me holed up in. There aren’t too many things to do in there you know, i just sit, think and scheme. Those few bursting moments I break out have to mean something, my life will never be wasted on mediocrity.

So there I was earlier in the day looking at the 30 day challenge list, thinking to myself what to make of it; definitely a shit load of crap, yeah, I said that then burnt and deleted every damn copy. It’s not making any sense with me. I feel like so damn limited with the material and griffin didn’t want to admit it as well.
But before I completely dispense with it, I’d like to share one last thing griffin denied me; My favorite book.

A book I Love

The Game: Penetrating The Secret Society of Pick Up Artists by Neil Strauss.

The Cover of Neil Strauss' The Game

For all men wary of taking that long walk, that unending stroll over to that table where that Woman of your desires and dreams sits with her friend, looking all beautiful and enjoying good company. All you men who find yourselves staring at your date thinking; How do I make this an interesting conversation and make sure she doesn’t fall asleep on her dinner, this book is definitely for you.

Neil Strauss introduces you to the world of a PUA (Pick Up Artist). The ultimate Lady’s man, conversation impresario, stealer of affections and one man show stopper. His book gives you an insight into all of this and could eventually lead you to discovering more within yourself because Neil Strauss is a PUA. In the world of the PUA he is aptly known as ‘Style’ and was one of the founding members of this movement in its more established form.

This book introduces you to a geeky investigative journalist, who all but let’s go of his mundane lifestyle to embrace a new one of excitement and discovery. Every geek’s dream is lived and realized in this book. From a balding bespectacled man in his late 20s we follow Strauss as he learns the tricks of the trade under the skilled but sometimes unstable hands of Mystery his Canadian teacher, evolving into a true master himself.

Such tricks as opening a set, number closing, negging and several other techniques are revealed. So vast is the arsenal of a PUA that any woman is susceptible to their deceptive and charming ways.

The book came as a wake up call to me, it played a role in revolutionizing the way I approached a Lady, it instilled in me the basics of male/female interaction.

I remember when I first got the book, Larry hit me on my IM that he had found something mind-blowing, something we all could use. Not that we lacked game (far from it), it just stemmed from the subconscious awareness that there had to be a faster smoother way to get the ladies.

As soon as possible I picked up a copy and went through it as fast as I as I could.

Over several chapters, I was introduced to this world that seemed so surreal, men that I was so sure never had a chance in hell of boasting more than 50 to 60 hits at several bars and clubs were writing books about ‘Game’, and I was eating every word and working on perfecting skills I had heard nothing of.

I learned such things as breaking a set; When your target is in a group and you interrupt the conversation with an intriguing topic that would definitely be of interest to all of them.

Negging; Passing subliminally negative comments at your target about her appearance in order to deflate her ego (just so slightly)

Then the magic tricks and the mental games.

It seemed Unbelievable until a week after, I got a phone call from Larry, he asked; “are you ready to try out your PUA skills?”

For a minute my throat went dry, but i found myself saying; “Hell yeah!” and off we went. Our first port of call was the famous Ceddi Plaza in Central area. After surveying the mall, we agreed on a base to operate from and started the exercise, armed with the necessary tools; pen, scribbling paper, deck of cards and the writings of Neil Strauss etched in our memories.A few friends had been invited to come along as observers so as to ascertain we didn’t make up stories.

The results were unbelievable; Larry ended upย  number closing two chicks at the same time (trust me, nigga is bad like that) while I hooked two chicks with a ‘cat and a shoe string move’.

Lets just say things were never the same again since that day.

I would have loved to share such other things as ‘number closing’ and ‘peacocking’ but that would be revealing too much to you guys. My advice is, if I got you curious enough, why not buy the book, I’m sure it’s also a great read.

The book’s end reveals an interesting twist also.

An that’s my take on the book I love.ย  All you ladies who think reading the book will give you a form of immunity to the techniques described in this book might be disappointed to find out it doesn’t work like that. ahahahahah!!!!

Coffee

Coffee- Black

I first discovered the beauty of coffee in my late teens and early twenties but got hooked on it during my 13 months I spent with Silverbird. It was an unquestionable morning ritual for me, an addiction I have to say. Every single day I stepped into the office, it would take under 15 minutes before the office attendant had my steaming cup by my desk at the ready. It was my boost, my Novocaine.

Then this weekend happened. I missed coffee on Saturday morning for some unexplainable reason before stepping out of the house, and things never really kicked off. Slow as the day seemed I kept on reacting to stuff a Milli second late and it still did not hit me. Having drinks with the boys later in the day revealed I had a craving for something, it still didn’t hit me.

I woke up quite late on Sunday morning to find the house empty, made my way to the kitchen hunting for breakfast, I subconsciously reached for the coffee can and proceeded to make the usual morning cup. With a slight pounding at the back and side of my head it was obvious I had a bit too much vodka to drink, I plugged in the electric kettle and helped myself to breakfast, half way through, I observed there was the absence of the usual hum and rush sound of the electric kettle boiling away. I looked up immediately and realized the damn thing wasn’t boiling at all. I walked over to its position and took a closer look. To my horror the kettle was broken. In a fit I got dressed and left the house. The same slow feeling followed me through out Sunday, haunting me as I drove to the airport to pick up my sis. Watching the BBA final show with the rest of the Susheys, everything just didn’t kick into gear for me, I even had it up on my BB status “Need Coffee”.

So I began the analytical process: Is it an addiction? Very likely. Is there a need to seek help? Who gives a fuck? What happens if I don’t get coffee for more than two days? *sips cup of coffee* Is that a threat?

Have a nice day guys….

See you all tomorrow.

How Important I think Education is (Day 9)


*Looks around menacingly*

I hate all of you. Seriously.
I’ve been locked away for so long and no one even bothered to look for me. What if I was mindnapped or something. You know these things happen.
So much for friends and fans, notwithstanding, I finally managed to convince griffin to let me put up another post.
You see, he’s been ill(Dick-wad went hard on some illegal chow and caught the nastiest bug) and busy with some work.

Me? I’ve just been lounging. Planning for the next three broads I’m going to attempt to do the nastiest things with. I prefer to plan my escapades in 3s cause I can’t trust griffin to leave me to my own devices long enough. So I simply mark three out, set my designs on them and hit them in rapid succession, bam! bam! bam!. Works every time and you know the popular saying; ‘Good things come in threes’.

Sometimes I can’t help breaking out into bouts of laughter when I recall some of the nasty things I’ve done. Like getting head while helping myself to some Chinese delicacy. That was some crazy ass shit you know. Savoring the spicy Ramen and soup while she fed off my Mcfly. It definitely wasn’t easy focusing on the chow while that happened. Chick was a good headmistress and I sure wasn’t going to miss the ‘key points’ she was dishing out down there.
Now some of you might say ‘that’s just nasty’, but check this out; She was the one who suggested we have dinner.
As ignorant as I was, I went for the Chines while she went for my Mcfly, I couldn’t complain and I’m sure she had no qualms, especially when I balanced the plate on her expensive weave.

Got a degree in Sucking and Kissing

Now you wonder why I’m talking about this here when I should be explaining to your boring asses what education means to me, well the story has only been half told…..

After that exquisite dinner, chick tells me to close my eyes. I begrudgingly oblige. She tiptoes into the bathroom, naked. About 10mins into this eyes- closing exercise, I hear her coming out of the bathroom, she still insists my eyes are kept closed but I try to steal a peek, she’s faster than me, fast enough to hit the light switch before my curiosity is satisfied. She eventually stands right in front of the bed and tells me to open my eyes, what is before me is surprising. She’s wearing a cat suit, a knitted cat suit, she’s all made up, her light skin against the black of the cat suit.

*This is not an Erotica, if you can be a bit fucking patient, I’ll get to the main reason for this post*

There’s a 7 foot lamp-post in the room, she goes for it and starts dancing all over the thing. Mcfly’s going bonkers, telling me to get closer so he can feel the texture of the suit (like i believe his lying cap).

She does this entire sexy dance routine all around the lamp-post (I assume she would have done a better job with a stripper pole), then proceeds to the dresser, I’m thinking of how I’m going to rip the damn suit off and show her how deep i can go so I try to get closer, she stops me, insists I have to watch this whole routine for 15mins.

Beyonce sure got a Cat suit shopping Diploma

Guantanamo Bay torture tactics were likely to be a better option compared to this.
I barely last 6mins before going in for the kill, searching for the zipper/button on the back, side and front of the suit. She doesn’t resist, instead, her body invites me.
I reach for the sides of the suit, meanwhile Mcfly’s prodding in-between her thighs and soon finds something interesting; There’s an inviting opening down there. Dude wastes no time digging in……

Now the scene I just described is quite interesting isn’t it. Well, Education plays a vital role here.

When I mean ‘Education’, I’m not strictly talking about Degrees and Diplomas. I’m talking about the constant need to gain knowledge and become aware of a particular topic or various subject matters.
See, Chick without acquiring knowledge in key areas like; pole dancing, memorizing the address to that sex shop wouldn’t have been able to give me such a trip.
Her damn sexy education gave her the tools and informed her of the necessary places to go searching for her suit, probably informed her on the right porn to watch sef.

On the other hand, a non- educated broad would probably have eaten my Ramen with me (shortening my ration), then proceed to make out in the most boring manner, feign a few moans and lie flat beneath me while Mcfly tried to do his best impression of Chevron digging for oil in never land.

Every girl has a freak inside her, but not every girl is willing to get the necessary education needed to get that BSc/MSc in Freak-a-nomics.

I encourage all women to do so, getting such an education will impact positively in your sex lives. It definitely made a great difference in this particular chick’s life; I kept her around far longer than I usually would.

Hope I was a good boy today though.

See you guys tomorrow.